Gratitude Is My Attitude Today
I believe change especially meaningful life changes are an evolutionary process; it doesn’t all happen at once but slowly evolves over time. It’s God damn uncomfortable. It sucks. I don’t really understand what God I pissed off to deserve all of this. Believe me, at times, I’ve felt like I am being punished. I sometimes would like to go back three years ago when I was heavier, drinking, eating crap and, OMG I think I was actually happy the Summer of 2009 and 2010. Fat, drunk and stupid is a way to go through life son! (That is a reference to Animal House. The real line in the movie is “Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life son.”)
But, I know one thing to be true. Me continuing in a lifestyle or on a path that no longer made me feel good or served me just made things worse. But, 2011 I was seriously ill and in a serious depression all because I ignored the subtle signs my body and God was sending me. If I would have listened up sooner to what I was sensing instead of ignoring the signs my body was sending perhaps things wouldn’t have reach the point of no return.
The reality is the time came to put on the “Big Girl” panties and just go for the ride wherever it took me. My body still hasn’t settled down and I am now learning that is in large part because my 75lb weight loss. First, you can’t lose 75lbs without throwing the chemical balance of your body off. Second, if you are a woman, Estrogen builds up according to your weight. Once my weight stabilized in the Fall of 2012 I got my period every two weeks for three months. I was excited. I thought I was going through “The Change” and would be done with it. But, I later learned when my period returned to normal cycles my body was dumping Estrogen. My Doctor told me it happens to women who lose a lot of weight. It’s called “Estrogen Dumping”. Also, want to make sure this is clear. I didn’t start the diet to lose weight. I started the diet because I was sick and wanted to feel better. But, I am must say with all honesty – DIETERS BEWARE! You may lose weight and LOOK great. But, your body is going to go through some changes that may not be all that pleasant. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t lose weight if you are overweight. It just means you shouldn’t expect everything to be all rosey and perfect because you are now a perfect size 8.
Now, as I embark on a Allergy Elimination/Rotation Diet for the second year in a row, I am reminded that I am thankful that all in all I am pretty healthy with the exception of some hidden food allergies that my Immunologist and I are working on figuring out. I am not happy, nor excited about doing an Elimination/Rotation Diet again. I am not thrilled with many of the changes my body has gone through in the last two years. But, I’ll take it over any other disease. Gratitude is my attitude today. Thank God for this crazy body of mine. It looks good and I am finally on my way to feeling good permanently.
In Peace, Love, Happiness and Gratitude,
Antonio Macedo 1955